How many presents can Santa fit into an empty sack measuring a metre by a metre?
Only one - after then it's not empty any more.
Why are turkeys wiser than chickens?
Ever heard of Kentucky Fried Turkey?
What do sheep write on their Christmas cards?
'Merry Christmas to ewe.'
Knock, knock.
- Who's there?
Wenceslas.
- Wenceslas who?
Wenceslas bus home on Christmas Eve?
What Christmas card is popular in the desert?
'O camel ye faithful. . . .'
What is a crocodile's favourite Christmas party game?
Snap.
What game do cows like to play at Christmas parties?
Moo-sical chairs.
Why is it difficult to keep a secret at the North Pole?
Because your teeth chatter.
Why does Santa have a garden?
Because he likes to hoe-hoe-hoe.
What did Mrs. Christmas say to her husband during the storm?
"Come and look at the rain, dear."
Why can only tiny fairies sit under toadstools?
Because there isn't mushroom.
What often falls at the North Pole but never gets hurt?
Snow.
What did Cinderella sing when her photographs weren't ready?
'Some day my prints will come. . . . .'
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